Beware!! Photoshop bandit on the lose again!!!!

After the successful ‘fakeplan’ editing of Damien, KY and Carol, Margie requested to have her picture edited too. She requested to lose a few inches and to shorten her hair and here’s the outcome….

Margie wants a short hairstyle.


Mouse Over the picture to view.

Photoshop bandit strikes again!

It is known that the chinese hokkien community in Malaysia are segregated into northen and southern hokkien. Being a Klang hokkien lang, I’ve always got into trouble trying to speak to my Penang hokkien friends. Just like ‘kai thung ngap kong’… chicken and duck talk, I’ve spent much time trying to understand their hokkien. Eventually, I managed to narrow down the gap of our mother tongue though once in a while I still do get teased by them.

Not being able to speak Penang hokkien properly, I’ve always been accused and laughed off for speaking broken hokkien. With the help of my good friend KY, here’s my desperate attempt to show everyone how different is Penang and Klang hokkien.
Here’s a list of normal everyday conversation and let the showdown begins…

KY representing Penang and Galvin for Klang.

Let’s go eat rice.
KY : kia khi ciak pui
Galvin : kai ki chiak p’ng

I wanna eat chicken rice.
KY : wa ai ciak keh pui
Galvin : wa ai chiak kuay p’ng

Where you wanna go?
KY : lu ai khi koh lok
Galvin : lu ai khi toh chi peng?

Anywhere it ok.
KY : koh lok pun biau kin
Galvin : Toh chi peng pun eh sai

Wanna eat shit or not?
KY : ai ciak sai boh?
Galvin : ai chiak sai bo?

Crazy ah? Don’t make whack you.
KY : siao ah, mang cho wa phak lu
Galvin : sioa ah, mai cho wa pha lu

Motherfucker, stare cock ar?
KY : cibai, seong hamik?
Galvin : Niameh, kua lanjiao ah?

Fucker, wanna fight ah?
KY : lanciao, ai sioh phak ah?
Galvin : Kanneh, ai sioh pak si bo?

Come la, scared you ar?
KY : lai la, kia lu meh?
Galvin : lai la, kia lu meh?

Wah, damn no manners.
KY : wah, boh leh sor
Galvin : wah, bo tua bo suay

Who no manners? Your mother no manners la.
KY : hamik boh leh sor? lu eh mak la boh leh sor
Galvin : hamik bo tua bo suay? Nin lau bu bo tua bo suay

Eh don’t insult my mother ok.
KY : mang kong wa eh mak ok
Galvin : oi, mm thang kong wa eh lau bu ho bo

Later I let you eat my fist.
KY : tan ci ek wa hoh lu ciak kun tao boh
Galvin : chia lu chiak kun tao bo

Come la, you think I really scared ar?
KY : lai lah, lu siang kong wa kia ah?
Galvin : lai la, lu siong wa chin chia kia ah?

Scared you got balls ar?
KY : kia lu uh hud ah?
Galvin : kia lu uh lam pa ah?

Fuck you, you goddamn mother fucker!
KY : cibai, lanciao!
Galvin : Kanninnahbuehchaocibaibolanjiaobolampa!!!

So, which hokkien do you prefer? Eh…dun pway pway ah! Tan ji eh wa hud lu!

After reading TV Smith’s entry on Proton Ah Beng Gen 3, I would like to share my opinions about Ah Bengs and Ah Lians.

The truth is, I was an Ah Beng! I think I am still quite an Ah Beng now. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. My friends still calls me an Ah Beng and occasionally they refer me as Klang Chow Ah Beng. This is pretty cool actually because people acknowledged your existence…though not in very a good manner.

Why was I such an Ah Beng? Well, I used to wear bright fluorescent yellow t-shirts. Hey…it was branded ok…FOREST! And I used to have a pair of cool Kamachi high-cut shoe. Not Reebok Pump or Nike Air but Kamachi!! It was so much cheaper and cooler compared to those expensive Reeboks and Nikes…and it comes with fluorescent coloured shoe laces. Back in school my friends wear cool Casio watches and I had my Casia watch. It was black and it lasted me 2 years ok. During weekends, my friends will chill out in McDonald’s in their casual wear…Levi’s jeans and Nike tees and I’ll usually wear my Cheetah tee and Edwon Jeans. RM10 for 3 tees and RM29.90 for the jeans.

Seriously, lack of fashion sense doesn’t categorize us as an Ah Beng. It’s lack of money that puts us in the offbeat community. Back then, not everyone can afford having 3 pairs of Reeboks, 2 Casio watches, 4 pairs of Levi’s and a bundle of Nike t-shirts. And I was one of them.

But then again Ah Bengs are not necessarily poor people. Some Ah Bengs are in fact quite rich. Else how could they afford wearing Armani shirt, Renoma jeans with Larrie leather shoe? How can they afford to drive an over-accessorized Honda Civic with loud muffler and bright neon lights?

So what makes Ah Beng, an Ah Beng? Is it the coloured hair? I’ve seen many ‘cool’ people chilling out in The Bliss and Zouk with coloured hairstyle too…so are they considered an Ah Beng too? Or maybe it is the way they dressed up? So bell-bottom pants with folded sleeve shirt are considered un-cool but when some top Paris model wears it, it’s a fashion statement? Or maybe the way they talk? Speaking with your mother tongue doesn’t make you an Ah Beng or an Ah Lian ok! It is known that Ah Bengs and Ah Lians swear a lot when they talk. I have to agree with that and you’ll do so too if you’re a frequent patron to Petaling Street. Then again, not everyone who swears ridiculously a lot is an Ah Beng or Ah Lian. They are just being who they are. I’m very sure Fuckstress will agree with that.

So tell me, why shun the fact that we could be Ah Beng or Ah Lian? I seriously think that Ah Bengs are in fact guilty for the rapid growth of IT labours in Malaysia. Think about it, how else can you learn to program Visual C++ or do photo editing with Photoshop for less than RM5? And thanks to them, we are enjoying Mr. And Mrs. Smith for less than RM7 and you can still make money out it. Just sell the DVD to your friend after watching it!

Being an Ah Beng and Ah Lian is actually quite cool. Kan nin neh, I’m sure if you search deep inside yourself, you’ll find an Ah Beng/Ah Lian in you

Here are some collections from the Internet that made me proud to be a chow ah beng!!!

Stah Wars from Power98 FM, Singapore.

Lord Of The Rings - Hokkien version for China market.

Just watched the much awaited movie Initial-D in TGV and it was superb. A must watch for both drifting enthusiasts and for car dummies.

I’m no movie critic but I would like to share my fascination of the show with everyone.

“Initial D” is an anime about street car racing and is based on a very popular manga by Shigeno Shuichi.

The story is focused on Takumi Fujiwara (Jay Chou), a 18 year old high school student who works part time at a gas station with his best friend, Itsuki (Chapman To). For the past 5 years, Takumi delivers tofu for his drunkard dad in his obsolescent Toyota AE86 every morning over Mt. Akina and soon became a very good racer and mastered the art of drifting.

Takumi was then challenged by NightKids Race Team’s Takashi Nakazato (Shawn Yue) to a downhill racing and won gloriously. His victory lead him to more races with Ryousuke (Edison Chen) and Emperor Race Team’s Kyouichi Sudou (Jordan Chan) which he inevitably won with the support and guidance from his ex-racer dad, Bunta Fujiwara (Anthony Wong).

This action-packed movie is loaded with great drifting skills and SUPERB cinematography by movie directors Andrew Lau and Alan Mak.

If you’re lost with the characters of this movie, here’s a quick reference for you:

Jay Chou as Takumi Fujiwara
Takumi is the hero of this movie. An 18 year old student who delivers tofu since he was 13 driving over Mt. Akina on the Toyota AE86.

Anthony Wong as Bunta Fujiwara
Bunta is Takumi’s dad. Bunta owns the Toyota AE86 and a tofu business. Bunta was a great racer once but soon became a drunkard after the death of his wife.

Edison Chen as Ryousuke Takahashi
Ryousuke is from Redsuns Race Team and a theorist on racing. He was also beaten by Takumi and soon became friends.

Shawn Yue as Takeshi Nakazato
Takeshi is the captain of NightKids Race Team and the first person to challenge Takumi.

Kenny Bee as Yuuchi Tachibana
Yuuichi is the owner of a local gas station. Yuuichi and Bunta have been best friend for years. He is also Itsuki’s dad.

Chapman To as Itsuki Tachibana
Itsuki is Takumi’s bestfriend and Yuuichi’s only son. He is also a big time wannabe racer. This dude is the funny guy in the movie.

Jordan Chan as Kyouichi Sudou
He’s the captain of Emperor Race Team who drives the Black Evo III.

Anne Suzuki as Natsuki Mogi
She’s Takumi’s childhood friend and heartthrob.

Though I haven’t finish watching the whole series of Initial-D anime, the storyline of this movie is good enough for those who never even heard of this movie before.

How I rate this movie : 4 stars out of 5.
Great cinematography and storyline.

Gan Ba De Takumi!!!

Having a girlfriend up north of Malaysia in Penang, I traveled quite up and down quite often. And those express coaches are my favourite mode of transport.

Even though we have cheap flights from AirAsia to Penang everyday, it’s not always that convinient for myself and Julea. Myself having to travel all the way to Sepang and then to worry about parking. And I don’t wish to disturb anyone just to send me to the airport. If I were to take the KLIA Express, it’s gonna cost me at least RM30 and that I still need to sort out the matter of getting to KL Sentral. Julea on the other hand, have to drive all the way to Bayan Lepas from BM just to pick me up and it gets very inconvinient for everyone…especially when I go up to BM quite often. So taking those express coaches are the best answer.

Although statistically, the chances of getting into a road accident is so much higher than taking an aircraft. I’ll still take my chances with these coaches reason because the express coaches nowadays are so much safer, comfortable and convinient. VIP coaches are the best. We are talking about 24 spacious seatings with good air-conditioning, VCD/DVD movies, large hand luggage compartment, comfortable leg space and for the finale, air-suspensions…making your ride more pleasant.

There are plenty of these express coaches travelling up north and down south nowadays. To name some of it, we have Transnasional, Nice Express, Super Nice Express, Seroja Express, Srijaya Express, Starz Express, Gunung Raya Express, Konsortium, Haider Express, Durian Burung Express and many more. I have to give it a two thumbs up because all of these express coaches travelled around Peninsular Malaysia round the clock. Though there are plenty of choices to choose from, I do have my preferred coach. I used to take Super Nice but now I go for Gunung Raya because their new coaches are with air-suspensions.

Competitions are tight, some VIP coach company offers online ticketing and some offers a much much lower price. So sometimes it’s pretty hard to choose which one to go with. But I found out the winner when I got back from Penang today. One VIP coach company that does the extreme and goes to the extend of taking care of all its passengers….

And the winner is FreeBury Ekpres. I read it as Free Bury Ekpres. If theres an accident, you get a free burial??? Yikes !!! o_O”