For a guy who haven’t frequent the club scene or even rave parties for quite sometime, I just don’t understand why so many youngsters are into this fast-leg moving dance called the “Melbourne Shuffle”.

I admit it, I’m from the old school and I grew up breakdancing with MC Hammer, headbanging with Guns & Roses, Techno dance with 2 Unlimited and Pop dancing with Paula Abdul. In college, I danced to trance and R&B. Then I begin to frequent Rave parties when I started working. For the next few years, I’ve seen alot of dance moves coming in and out of trend.

It’s only lately that I learnt about liquiding and the Melbourne Shuffle. Both dance move grooves along well with trance music. Here’s a quote from a website talking about the Melbourne Shuffle.

Melbourne shuffle is an art form, and recognised in international dance circles as Melbourne’s own.

The shuffle is a fast heel-and-toe movement, coupled with a matching arm action. While the dance is free-form (no two people ever shuffle exactly the same) the basic step involves repeatedly shuffling your feet inwards, then outwards, while thrusting your arms up and down, or side to side, in time with the beat. The upper body continues to “bop” with the music.

With practice, shufflers can add a 360-degree spin, a fancy side-step or two, and even a double-footed jump to match the peaks of the music. Talcum powder is sometimes sprinkled on the floor so dancers can slip and slide faster as they shuffle. There’s even a competition, the Shuffle-Off, held in Melbourne every few months.

The shuffle is one reason why, to the thousands of Melbourne people who go nightclubbing every week, this city has a unique dance culture. More than 100 clubs – most but not all of them in the central business district and inner suburbs – cater to the electronic dance scene.

I mean seriously, do you really think that a dance where people wearing pants bigger than MC Hammer’s can become a culture of its own? Hmmm….I don’t know but I do know of another shuffling culture. A culture that have been practised since the dawn of mankind…it’s called the ‘Five Knuckle Shuffle’

The Five Knuckle Shuffle

Five Knuckle Shuffe is truly an art form, and dated back to the dawn of mankind.

The shuffle is a fast palm-and-hand movement, coupled with a firm grip to give more satisfaction. While the shuffle is free-form the basic step involves repeatedly shuffling your hand inwards, then outwards, while thrusting your body up and down, or a rub on the tip with your thumb, in time of heat. Your body will quiver to the rythym of your shuffling.

With practice, shufflers can add a 180-degree rub, a fancy up-down rub or two, and even a double-handed shuffle to reach the peak. Soap or lubricant are sometimes used on the palm so shufflers can slip and slide faster as they shuffle. There’s even a competition, a marathon, held in San Fran.

The shuffle is one reason why, to the millions of single, lonely and bored people stays back home every weekend.

The best part about Five Knuckle Shuffle is that you can change your shuffling partner everyday and not just with one…but two!

Pick your favourite name and JERK OFF!!!

The Five Knuckle Shuffle is also better known as ‘tar fei kei’, ‘pak chiu cheng’, jerking off or ‘melancap’.

I’m very sure that the word ‘tah pau‘ is a very common in today’s world. ‘Tah pau’ simply means ‘to take away’ in Cantonese. But none aware that this simple 2 syllables phrase has involved into something more than anyone can just take away.

The simple usages of the phrase ‘tah pau’ are as follows:

To order:
Usage : I wanna ‘tah pau’ McDonald’s.
Meaning : I want to order take-away from McDonald’s.

To express anger:
Usage : I wanna tah pau him or tah pau him
Meaning : I want to beat him up or whack him

To express interest:
Usage : I wanna tah pau her
Meaning : I want to seduce/have her.
(A less ungentlemanly act)
Meaning : I want to f*ck her.

To express dismay:
Usage : I got tah pau-ed, I kena tah pau

Meaning : I got beaten up, I got walloped

To express delight:
Usage : I tah pau everyone in the game!
Meaning : I beat everyone in the game!

To express sexual pleasure:
Usage : We had great sex last night, I tah pau her many times.
Meaning : We had great sex, she had multiple orgasm.

To get things done:
Usage : Let’s tah pau and go back!
Meaning : Let’s wrap things up and go back!

To take without permission:
Usage : I tah pau the book from him.
Meaning : I stole the book from him.

Here are only a few examples. You may find more ways to use this phrase in near future…just like how I did when I tah pau KY in my last Penang Ah Beng vs. Klang Ah Beng entry.

If you hear of anyone trying to tah pau you, RUN! They’re not gonna bring you food!

Sienn… I can hardly move my right arm now. A lesson I learnt the hard way…never ever try to play badminton, volleyball , foosball and do a whole lot of hoeing on the same day.

We went for our weekly badminton game in Section 14, PJ. After 2 games of badminton, I joined another group of people to play volleyball. It was fun since I haven’t been playing volleyball for like 4-5 years. After the game, we went back to KY’s place to help out with his Koi pond project… myself and Horng did a lot of digging for a good 1-2 hours.

At night, we went over to AsiaCafe in Subang SS15 for dinner. There, I spent another good 4 hours playing foosball none stop. I was feeling all hyped up because I finally got back my push-shot and I didn’t feel a single thing…until this morning!

Owww…I’m having a hard time moving the mouse too. Siennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

After reading TV Smith’s entry on Proton Ah Beng Gen 3, I would like to share my opinions about Ah Bengs and Ah Lians.

The truth is, I was an Ah Beng! I think I am still quite an Ah Beng now. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. My friends still calls me an Ah Beng and occasionally they refer me as Klang Chow Ah Beng. This is pretty cool actually because people acknowledged your existence…though not in very a good manner.

Why was I such an Ah Beng? Well, I used to wear bright fluorescent yellow t-shirts. Hey…it was branded ok…FOREST! And I used to have a pair of cool Kamachi high-cut shoe. Not Reebok Pump or Nike Air but Kamachi!! It was so much cheaper and cooler compared to those expensive Reeboks and Nikes…and it comes with fluorescent coloured shoe laces. Back in school my friends wear cool Casio watches and I had my Casia watch. It was black and it lasted me 2 years ok. During weekends, my friends will chill out in McDonald’s in their casual wear…Levi’s jeans and Nike tees and I’ll usually wear my Cheetah tee and Edwon Jeans. RM10 for 3 tees and RM29.90 for the jeans.

Seriously, lack of fashion sense doesn’t categorize us as an Ah Beng. It’s lack of money that puts us in the offbeat community. Back then, not everyone can afford having 3 pairs of Reeboks, 2 Casio watches, 4 pairs of Levi’s and a bundle of Nike t-shirts. And I was one of them.

But then again Ah Bengs are not necessarily poor people. Some Ah Bengs are in fact quite rich. Else how could they afford wearing Armani shirt, Renoma jeans with Larrie leather shoe? How can they afford to drive an over-accessorized Honda Civic with loud muffler and bright neon lights?

So what makes Ah Beng, an Ah Beng? Is it the coloured hair? I’ve seen many ‘cool’ people chilling out in The Bliss and Zouk with coloured hairstyle too…so are they considered an Ah Beng too? Or maybe it is the way they dressed up? So bell-bottom pants with folded sleeve shirt are considered un-cool but when some top Paris model wears it, it’s a fashion statement? Or maybe the way they talk? Speaking with your mother tongue doesn’t make you an Ah Beng or an Ah Lian ok! It is known that Ah Bengs and Ah Lians swear a lot when they talk. I have to agree with that and you’ll do so too if you’re a frequent patron to Petaling Street. Then again, not everyone who swears ridiculously a lot is an Ah Beng or Ah Lian. They are just being who they are. I’m very sure Fuckstress will agree with that.

So tell me, why shun the fact that we could be Ah Beng or Ah Lian? I seriously think that Ah Bengs are in fact guilty for the rapid growth of IT labours in Malaysia. Think about it, how else can you learn to program Visual C++ or do photo editing with Photoshop for less than RM5? And thanks to them, we are enjoying Mr. And Mrs. Smith for less than RM7 and you can still make money out it. Just sell the DVD to your friend after watching it!

Being an Ah Beng and Ah Lian is actually quite cool. Kan nin neh, I’m sure if you search deep inside yourself, you’ll find an Ah Beng/Ah Lian in you ;)

Here are some collections from the Internet that made me proud to be a chow ah beng!!!

Having a girlfriend up north of Malaysia in Penang, I traveled quite up and down quite often. And those express coaches are my favourite mode of transport.

Even though we have cheap flights from AirAsia to Penang everyday, it’s not always that convinient for myself and Julea. Myself having to travel all the way to Sepang and then to worry about parking. And I don’t wish to disturb anyone just to send me to the airport. If I were to take the KLIA Express, it’s gonna cost me at least RM30 and that I still need to sort out the matter of getting to KL Sentral. Julea on the other hand, have to drive all the way to Bayan Lepas from BM just to pick me up and it gets very inconvinient for everyone…especially when I go up to BM quite often. So taking those express coaches are the best answer.

Although statistically, the chances of getting into a road accident is so much higher than taking an aircraft. I’ll still take my chances with these coaches reason because the express coaches nowadays are so much safer, comfortable and convinient. VIP coaches are the best. We are talking about 24 spacious seatings with good air-conditioning, VCD/DVD movies, large hand luggage compartment, comfortable leg space and for the finale, air-suspensions…making your ride more pleasant.

There are plenty of these express coaches travelling up north and down south nowadays. To name some of it, we have Transnasional, Nice Express, Super Nice Express, Seroja Express, Srijaya Express, Starz Express, Gunung Raya Express, Konsortium, Haider Express, Durian Burung Express and many more. I have to give it a two thumbs up because all of these express coaches travelled around Peninsular Malaysia round the clock. Though there are plenty of choices to choose from, I do have my preferred coach. I used to take Super Nice but now I go for Gunung Raya because their new coaches are with air-suspensions.

Competitions are tight, some VIP coach company offers online ticketing and some offers a much much lower price. So sometimes it’s pretty hard to choose which one to go with. But I found out the winner when I got back from Penang today. One VIP coach company that does the extreme and goes to the extend of taking care of all its passengers….